Pornography, Integrity and Expectation


This is my understanding of the process by which someone starts on the viewing of pornography. It may start with being fascinated about some body parts or situations in real life, some of which may appear rather innocent. For example, being fascinated by brown hair, bare feet, or by people getting arrested. Then, perhaps someday, you discover that the internet has a huge repository of the images you want to look at. These images are far better than the situations you can find in real life because the images do not move. The situation remains the same forever for you to admire.

You may soon exhaust all the images after using basic search terms. The use of basic search terms may preserve your sense of integrity because you may still be able to deny that you are watching pornography. After a while, you start to expand the range of search terms until you have exhausted all of them that clearly fit within the boundaries of your sense of integrity. That is when you will slowly try to test the boundaries by using terms that are in the grey area. You may feel a slight compromise in integrity, but the images are the reward you have obtained by stepping into the grey area. If you did not feel a compromise in integrity, you may expand the boundaries of your sense of integrity. You continue to compromise your integrity as long as you still think of yourself as a good person. This continuous expansion of boundaries, and the continuous rewards are the causes of the slippery slope. A journey that may start as soft core pornography (knowingly or unknowingly) may slowly go in the direction of hard core pornography.

By the time the direction is at least slightly towards hard core pornography (i.e. looking at naked bodies), the sense of integrity may have been lost, and the whole operation is solely sustained by continuous rewards by the viewing of those images. You may start to admit to yourself that you are viewing pornography. This loss of integrity may affect other parts of life. You now have something to hide from everyone, a secret to hide from the people that are close to you. You may start to worry about all sort of ways that your secret may be found out, and the social rejection that may result. This hiding may be the foundation of some mental issues in the future. More worryingly, you may start to believe that the images you see are part of real life. You know that even if you know that they are not real, your judgement and expectation in the real world will have been affected by the continuous viewing of pornography. Maybe you will even try to enact what you have seen in images. It starts to affect your life.

After admitting that to the viewing of pornography, and after admitting that integrity has been lost, and that expectation has been altered, the best way forwards is to abandon pornography. It won’t be easy, but it is surely rewarding. The of loss self control and the time wasted is disturbing enough. Bad dreams of being a bad person makes it worse. There is also an internal feeling that viewing pornography is an antisocial act. This is so bad. It descends into debauchery and unrealistic imagination, all for sexual arousal that is accompanied by guilt at the end of it.